Thousands of young people are working their butts off to get accepted into one of the med schools. No wonder. A doctor is a prestigious profession. You are saving people’s health and lives. Isn’t it beautiful? And you know, the salary. After some time, you don’t really have to worry about the money anymore. You are wealthy and respected. You are a superhero. Who wouldn’t want to be in that elite environment after getting a chance to join it?
Me. This is not my place
I worked my butt off, too. And guess what! I got accepted! Then I was in med school for a year. Two weeks ago I quitted. I discovered that I don’t want that. Why? That’s a long story. But first…
How the hell does it feel like to quit, gurl? I came here for that!
When first thoughts “I want to quit” appear, you don’t even treat it seriously. Med school is hard as hell and such thoughts appear on a daily basis. In every future doctor’s head. Such thoughts come and go. But mine was growing stronger and stronger every day. Even passing hard tests didn’t banish them. Quitting became real.
When I made a decision that I want to quit, I felt terrified. Actually, it was so unreal. I got used to the lifestyle of constant stress and studying. Starting living a new life seemed just unbelievable yet appealing.
When I told my parents I want to quit and presented them with my new plan for life, I felt motivated and happy. Again. After a long time of pursuing something, I’m not fond of. Living your dreams stopped being a poster cliche for me. It became my reality!
Why did you quit a med school?
Pre-med school time
It’s simply not my thing. However, admitting it took me a long time.
When I decided I want to be a doctor, I wasn’t really sure what can I do with my life. I haven’t seen a chance of earning money from my creative interests such as writing or art, so I abandoned these fields. Hey, if I have no clue what to do, I should use my potential to the maximum! And I did it!
My joy from being accepted lasted only for a while. Then, a horrible fear appeared. I wasn’t able to enjoy my achievement anymore. Why didn’t this negative feeling alarm me? I’m a quite sensitive person, so before every school year I was stressing out. Thought it was my usual reaction, but relative to the scale of my new life chapter.
In the first month of studying, everyone was freaking out. Natural freshman reaction, nothing to see there! Time passed by, we get used to the new lifestyle study-classes-eat-optional sleep. However, my anxiety didn’t abandon me. I suffered from a lack of will. My focus was absent. I couldn’t remember things even after sessions of work that supposed to be productive. My small victories like passing a hard test didn’t make me happy. I felt miserable almost all the time. I couldn’t find myself in this environment. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong. That was the time when I did a reality check:
“Do I even want that? Is high salary worth spending my time away from my closest ones? Do I want to spend my youth away from things I love? If that is what I wanted, why can’t I enjoy it?”
To escape this rut, I came back to my good old hobby – writing. Aww, man! That was it! My brain was craving for creative work. I felt as happy as a clam typing tiny text for a YouTube channel project – ValkyVibes (Check it out, especially valky’s songs!). Then I started taking text orders. My clients loved things I provided them with. The next step was taking up a part-time job as a copywriter. I did all of these things along with studying medicine. As I was getting more and more into the copywriting industry, I got to know that you can actually make for a living by creating texts. I discovered that I don’t want writing to be just my free-time activity. That was the time when I seriously thought about switching careers. I learned an important thing about myself: I must work in a creative field.
One wise lady
I made a decent how-to-put-my-life-together-after-quitting masterplan (now I’m acting according to it, good job, Magda!). Does it mean that I left med school right after this discovery? Nope. I’m ashamed to say that I lacked the courage to quit. That’s why I ended up in a hospital. Serving an internship. That’s actually a topic for another story.
Anyway, I met a wonderful doctor there. During one day we had some spare time to talk. There was something special about her that I ended up opening up about my concerns. She looked pretty surprised. Without a word, she took me outside. I thought I’ll get a blast. Fortunately, I received an unforgettable pep talk.
Mrs Doctor has a colleague. He’s an excellent specialist, always treats patients with care and respect. However, he doesn’t like his job. He can’t wait for the retirement. He regrets his life choice of becoming a doctor. She doesn’t want me to end up like that. If only there is a thing I want to do in my life that can bring me a profit, I should go for it.
Doing something against myself is nothing but a self-abuse.
Then she told me to go home and do my thing the best I can. Mrs Doctor, I did so!
Current status: yeah, baby!
How does my life look like now? Well, I still work as a copywriter. Meanwhile, I got to know graphic design. Guess I’m into polygamy, I love them equally. My job allows me for working from any place in the world with a decent Internet connection. I can work and travel! At the same time! That’s insane! In October, I begin anew my Economics studies. How do I feel about that?
I feel excited. There is no fear in me anymore. Guess that’s how a person with a purpose feels like. The inner calm I have found after quitting tells me that I’m going to deal with every obstacle. I also feel kind of proud of myself. I woke up the brave Magda that made a firm decision to fight for the life I always wanted.