We all know it’s just a movie, right? The real-life relationships are not like that! She comes across that gorgeous guy, they like each other, she does a dozen weird things that make him hate her, then something breaking happens and boom they are just married! With these empty cans pounding the asphalt. Okay, enough crap. We are reasonable people. We can divide fiction from the reality!
However, we still crave for this #goal relationship, which going to be perfect in every aspect. The media is bombarding us with the pink version of love. Girl, why is the title of this article so brutal? Why are these fantastic visions so harmful?
Passion and companion
There are two main stages of love: passionate and companionate. The first one concerns up to the first three years of a relationship. Desire is the keyword. Euphory of being together, butterflies in your tummy, sex in the car and other places different than a bed. Yup, this is all passionate phrase. No matter how many times you yell “it’s not a phrase, mum!”. It has its end. Then, the companionate stage comes. It’s more mature, based on the partnership of people, they are connected by their experiences and passions. Guess on which phrase media focuses the most? And which one is almost always omitted?
It begins pretty early, with the appearance of fairy tales. A princess is saved by a brave prince/knight. After that, they live happily ever after. That’s the only information we get. The reality of pure happiness. There’s no place for every day or big problems. What could go wrong after two people who love each other are finally together?!
Although girls grow out of princesses, the picture of the Prince Charming is still haunting them. Romantic comedies come. TV series. YouTube. Instagram. We want to be like beautiful people we see there. If they have perfect lives, why can’t I? We meet someone, get into a relationship with them, we are happy together for a while.
Media is displaying only the first, romantic stage of love. We grow up watching this sugary vision and then want to build something like this. Because I’m not like the rest. I’ll be crazy in love forever! However, the hormonal kick has its end. We have this moment of sudden realization – what happened to the feeling we shared?
Well, nothing tragic happened. You have already entered a new level! The companionate stage.The omitted one in love stories we know. It’s not that filled with desire like the passionate phrase. Butterflies are in graves at the bottom of your stomach. Moreover, you can actually deal with your partner being away without piercing longing. Depressing? Worth hiding by the media? I don’t think so!
Being in love is cool and stuff, but think of the possibilities the companionate stage gives you. You have a partner to confront obstacles in life without dazing of uncontrolled feelings. You can go for your goals in life because you are out of this sighing-I-can’t-sleep-and-eat state! You have that special person that you have in common much more than some passionate time together! I think this is simply awesome.
Dear media, please show us the beauties of real long-term relationships. We’ve had enough first kisses, show us 1000th!