I Am Not Good Enough: A Look at Comparing

Autor: Magda Owsiany •  Aktualizacja: 07/18/18 

When I take a look back, I see tons of waste. Waste of time. I’m not talking about watched TV series, memes or time spent on drawing fluffy kittens. I’m talking about comparing. The tricky bastard that makes you feel like you are worthless. The thief of your time, motivation and self-confidence. The weird strength that pulls you down in the second you give it your attention. Come, we have a lot to discuss…

Comparing and I

My problem with comparing was enormous. I was my personal master of switching to I-am-nothing mode in seconds. All I needed to decrease my value as a human was a bit of stimulation. Artist the same age drawing gorgeous things while I was struggling with eyes of the similar size. Not getting some math concept while the rest is doing great. Girls always looking on point when my championship is pulling myself together. Sounds odd, right? However, those little things accumulate to finally create an avalanche of low mood. When you start, you don’t even realize when you reach the bottom of ridiculousness. Actually, it becomes as usual as breathing.

It could probably last through my whole life. Fortunately, I have met proper people on my epic journey of life. Those people knew how to tell me “calm the heck down”. If you don’t have that person, let me become one for you.

Every journey is different – the solution. Maybe. I’m not a professional.

First things first. When you feel anxious you can ask your friend for comfort. They will tell you “you’re awesome!”. You are going to be cool for some time. But after a while, horrible thoughts will be there yelling “Honey, I’m home!”. Why? Because you are the one that needs to say “[insert your name here], you’re awesome”. !f you don’t convince yourself, no one will.
Second things second don’t you compare your path to the others. You have no idea at what stage they are. What are their conditions of development? How much spare time do they are? Are they actually telling you the truth? I suppose your access to these data is limited. There is nothing you can do about it. However, should you even care about it? There is another awesome thing you can do instead.

I have an ASAP task for you. Go and do your thing. Get into it, man! No peeping at others! Do it every day. Don’t dare to stop! Failures happen, we humans catch them often. That’s the path of improvement. Remember that your true opponent is the past you. Through the actions you take, you make a choice. Will you become better or keep on being the same? Okay, enough of this coaching stuff.

Is this easy? Hell no! But hey! You are a strong human. You have survived so much time of self-hater. This is tones of unnecessary pain. That’s why I’m sure you are going to deal with. Prepare for discomfort. There surely will be discomfort. You are leaving things you already know and got used to.

Am I cured?

Not fully. It takes time to abandon habit that has been lasting for years. Sometimes it’s still a struggle to remain critical when judgemental thoughts kick in. But the result is worth it. With time I’m getting better and better At the end, I got one more thing to say, so you gotta be patient. I wish you tears of joy when you feel free from comparisons. Been there, done that, I give it five stars! Your agony is over, now go and become your own saviour!

Cześć! Tutaj Magda i Tomek.

Oboje wierzymy, że po śmierci czeka nas nicość. Dlatego budujemy sobie życie tak, by niczego nie żałować i czerpać jak najwięcej przyjemności.
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